As an African American we are naturally forced to have power within ourselves or produce it out-of-thin-air (nothing). We were born with a world genetically designed to be against us. This means our 5 senses must be on the alert at 100% level at all times, just to be a productive member of society. Instead of being aggressive, obtrusive, loud let us control this energy and use it at home or your where ever your relationship stands.
Today we will dive deep into “Overpowering Dynamics in the Black Relationships”. The Brotherhood of Sincerity will introduce ways to gain control from feeling powerless in your relationship by gaining that power in which you already have. There should come as no surprise that there will be a overpower dynamics in your romantic relationship, but this does not mean you should give up. In most partnerships there is an equal amount of power and respect, and in others, one partner holds most of the power. To make things even more complicated, the power can shift at different points in your relationship. Maybe in the beginning you two never thought of power and respect because it felt equally distributed. But then, as time went on, you noticed things shifting and you felt like your boyfriend or girlfriend somehow have more power. Now, because of longevity and commitment towards each other the true nature of your partner has come to light.
Our personal point of view, it’s normal for the overpowering dynamics to happen in the black relationships. This power shift in a relationship daily, for some hourly. One day you in control the other she/he is in control. Many things could have made the partnership structure change. Just sit back reflect on the verbal, non-verbal, or study his/her actions and no-actions. Write it down and view your errors and compare it with your partner. This is when the game changes and your point of view will evolve into a much more fruitful and confident self.
This is when you will be forced to ask yourself some questions. How did we get into this situation? Why is this happening now? How do you get on equal equilibrium? How do you gain more power and respect in the relationship? How do you turn this ship around and sail towards a more peaceful and happy sea? How can I gain my power back to accomplish things in life and keep him/her happier?
These are 5 ways you gain more power and respect in your romantic relationship.
1. Speak up (Don’t Yell – Communicate)
One way to become more powerful is to use your voice. Be clear about your wants and needs. If you don’t speak up for yourself, who else will?
2. Be More Independent (Do what is Possible to You)
Being strong and independent doesn’t mean you don’t need your partner in any way, it just shows that you are capable of doing things on your own, as a powerful individual. Being able to be self-sufficient while in a relationship is crucial. Your partner will admire you for this work ethics, autonomy, accomplished, and so will you.
3. Have boundaries (But do not Become a Relationship Hitler)
Everyone has their own set of rules and boundaries that they are comfortable with. You will have boundaries in your relationship and it’s vital you keep them. There are some things that will cross the line for you, and you need to be able to draw that line firmly. An easy way of gaining respect is to treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. If you want respect and consideration you must give it to your significant other as well.
4. Follow through on your word (Have a Solid Plan and Execute it)
Saying something and doing the opposite is one way to quickly lose respect. Actions speak louder than words — especially in relationships. So, if you tell your partner that there will be certain repercussions for something and you don’t follow through, he or she won’t take you seriously. Or even if you make a small promise to your lover, you must keep it. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be more confident and attractive as somebody who knows what he or she deserves. If you’re in a relationship where your partner knows he or she can get away with anything, well then, your power and respect have already gone out the window. Stand up for yourself and don’t be afraid to walk away from a relationship that isn’t beneficial to you.
5. Respect yourself (If You Do Not Respect Yourself, No one Will)
If you don’t respect yourself, then who else will? It starts with yourself. You must show how you want to be treated. This will come through with how you treat yourself. How do you talk about yourself? Do you give yourself any power? How do you view yourself? Take a moment to truly think about how you respect yourself. Remember, confidence is contagious.
– Brotherhood of Sincerity